


He Dreamed of Fire and Steel

by prettyredfox



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Shy Arthur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-02 08:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16783612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyredfox/pseuds/prettyredfox
Summary: Since he was a boy he's dreamed of brilliant golden eyes. He never dreamed he would actually meet the boy-never dared to hope that they would be friends in reality. Reincarnation/Bromance fic Arthur's lonely and nerdy and probably a very OC, but I appreciate you if you give this a chance.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this posted on Fanfiction for forever, but no one there leaves comments, so I'm going to work on reposting everything here! Thank you if you take the time out of your day to read this.

He dreamed of fire and steel-of _magic_ and a pair of brilliant, gold eyes.

They were the same dreams he’d dreamed of since he was small. He remembered he used to wake up crying for his mother, (or for whoever his hero had been in his dreams) scrambling into his mother’s arms and shaking while she petted him and sang. When he turned eight, his father told him he was too old to have his mother comforting him every time he cried-that if he was going to be a man he needed to tuck that fear away-to not feel it or let it affect him in any way. So he stopped calling for her and would spend the rest of his nights lying awake in bed until it was a suitable time for him to get up.

He was twelve when his mother got sick and he regretted not spending all of that time he’d wasted letting her hold him at night as she died a slow death in that hospital bed.

Ygraine Pendrick lay in bed for several weeks in pain, slowly fading away while he held her hand and tried to be strong for her, like she’d always been for him. She’d been strong enough to beat the cancer she’d been struggling with for the last year and he prayed she would be able to defeat the illness pursuing her now as well.

She eventually succumbed to pneumonia after five weeks of fighting. The doctors said he was lucky to have spent that much time with her, but he hadn’t felt lucky, still didn’t.

The last couple weeks of her life, Ygraine had hardly recognized the face of her son and would frantically call out to her husband and ask for Arthur even though he remained sitting next to her (would hardly leave her side for food or even to go to the bathroom out of fear she would suddenly take a turn for the worst while he wasn’t there). It broke his heart to hear her calling for him, he wanted to give her whatever she wanted and had always hated when she got upset for whatever reason. She’d been everything to him, his best friend, and his comfort when his father asked too much from him-his beautiful and forever kind mother.

Uther Pendrick had only grown angrier and sterner with her passing, for she had been the light of his life and only love. Nothing could console him.

Arthur didn’t even bother trying after a while.

The dreams got worse, of course. Used to, they would be filled with fighting and terrifying creatures, but also something else-friendship and a powerful bond. A raven haired boy with golden eyes and magic flowing from his pale fingertips who would always swoop in and save him; protect him from the evil endlessly dogging his steps. The boy stopped appearing after his mother’s death and it was like being abandoned all over again-he was all alone to face the constant tormenters in his dreamscape and his reality alike.

He aged by his lonesome in his big house full of the strangers his father had hired to maintain it and him while the man spent all his time away on business or locked in his study. The maids would talk amongst themselves about the strict man and his quiet, odd son the man refused to talk to.

Eventually, the boy became what society had labeled a man, though still not the type of man his father wanted so he ran off to college. He’d made average grades in school, nothing that could get him a scholarship, but his mother had left him more than enough money to get him into any college of his choosing. He picked a local college anyways, telling himself he wanted to stay close to the family crypt his mother was encased in. Truthfully, that was only a part of it. The other part was he wasn’t sure he could survive on his own and he hoped everyday his father would reach out to him. He hoped the man would remember that he actually _had a son_ and would want to see him. It was a foolish hope and he knew it. His father saw him as weak and useless, but he had a feeling even if he wasn’t that way he still wouldn’t be good enough for Uther.

Arthur felt like he should be different-had once _been_ different. Happier, maybe, more outgoing and independent? He felt like he once had friends, but knew he’d never made any in this life besides Ygraine.

He tried to be different than this shell of a person he felt like. When he first began college he’d tried talking to people and smiling more. That plan had failed spectacularly. The other students there had known from the start that he came from money and judged him based solely on that and his looks. Everyone who hadn’t avoided him, assuming he was a pompous arse had tried befriending him for all the wrong reasons.

He’d just stopped socializing at all after a while, though he was ashamed to admit he’d gone along with some of his so call _friends_ for a lot longer than he should have, even after he knew they didn’t actually like him at all. Whatever life he’d dreamed up was not the life he was living now. Now he was just a rich, lonely boy who dreamed too often of death and things that did not exist when his eyes were open.

=3

He was standing indecisively out in the hall of his classroom while he thought about whether or not he should go home for Christmas when he first caught sight of _him_.

The guy seemed to be about his age except taller and skinnier, his dark hair just long enough to curl over his forehead and around his ridiculously large ears. He was breathtakingly pale and his eyes were as blue as the piece of sea glass his mother had bought for him while they were visiting the beach one year. He still wore it around his neck, along with any other jewelry his mother had ever bought him.

What was most interesting and equally terrifying about this guy, and what stood out the most to Arthur, was the fact that he had seen him before. In fact, he’d seen him many times before, but only in his dreams wielding magic and tripping over his own feet. The only difference between this man and the one he vividly remembered was the one in his dreams had gold eyes instead of striking blue. _Real people don’t have bright glowing, gold eyes_.

This didn’t stop him from staring. He wasn’t sure what he thought might happen when he felt that sensation of hope and longing flare up in his chest. Maybe he was hoping this fellow would see him and whisk him away on the back of a dazzling white horse and take him away to do better things with his life. This was not what happened. Instead the man caught him staring and froze, his blue eyes widening as something crossed over his face that Arthur didn’t understand. Was it disgust?

Arthur looked back down quickly, cheeks flushing hot as he scurrying towards the stairs and determined not to look back at the mysterious stranger no matter what.

He’d seemed older than he had first thought, though his face seemed youthful. Those blue eyes were deep pools of sorrow and cleverness, though the ungainliness of his limbs seemed to portray him as something different at first glance. Those were the eyes of someone who’d seen too much-who knew too much of the world’s secrets.

Oddly enough, before he had put his head down, he had noticed what he’d thought to be recognition in the man’s sad eyes.

_Maybe he’s dreamed of me, too_.

But what would he know of it.

=3

He did end up going home for the Christmas holiday after a week of dwelling on it. He hadn’t seen the mysterious man since the hallway and was feeling oddly depressed about it, moping about his dorm room feeling disgustingly alone since his roommate had already left for home without so much as a goodbye. He and his roommate didn’t really get along well, not that Arthur had tried to engage in any conversation whatsoever-so he couldn’t complain _too_ much about it since he was partly to blame.

He immediately regretted the decision to come home the second he walked through his front door. The house wasn’t decorated at all with anything festive and was cleared except for two staff members who gave him odd looks when he walked in through the front door before going about their business, dusting and flittering about trying to look busy.

His father came walking down the stairs looking distracted with his briefcase in hand and dressed in a nice button up, slacks, and sweater vest, long, wool coat slung over his arm-something he always picked to wear when he had a long flight.

“Ah, Arthur.” Uther said once he reached the bottom, face clear of any emotion as he kept on the path for the front door. “Good, your home. Keep the house safe for me while I’m gone, would you?” A zing of hope went through him. The words were an old inside joke between them that they’d used before mother’s death, back when they actually spoke to one another. ‘ _Keep the house safe, son’_ , Uther would say and smile because, really, what could Arthur do that the security guard and heavy metal gate couldn’t?

“Are you going on a business trip, father? Will you be home before Christmas?” He asked, giving a polite smile.

Uther scowled and he pulled open the front door, letting the chill and a few snow flurries in. “What business is it of yours, boy? I’ll be home when I damn well please.” He snapped. Only a few words to his son and he’d already grown annoyed with the boy.

The callous man slammed the door behind him and Arthur deflated, the smile having slipped off his face with his father’s rebuttal. Christmas alone was nothing new, really, but he had hoped his father had at least missed him a little while he’d been away and would be happy to see him. He realized now that was a silly thought. What had there been to miss? They’d never seen each other while they lived in the house together anyways; moving into the dorms on campus was no different than him being home.

Well, Christmas was in three days, he figured he would do what he always did and just buy a lot of junk food and watch movies on the telly. So, he gathered back up his coat and decided to walk to the grocery a few blocks away.

This was where the second meeting with the mystery guy took place.

The walk to the store had been a lot colder than he’d planned on. He was more of a fan of summer, anyways, so when he entered the store all he’d been paying attention to was warming up his frozen fingers as he absently grabbed a few items from the shelves and tucked them underarm.

He went stiff when the voice reached him, fingers sitting absently in front of his mouth mid-blow as he listened.

“ _Merlin_ , really, I don’t see the difference between one can of cranberry sauce and another!” A gruff voice growled in annoyance. _Merlin_ , he _knew_ that name.

“It does make a difference, _Gwaine_ , that’s why I’m picking it. And really, you idiot, if you can’t tell the difference, why do you care which one I pick?” He knew the name Gwaine, too, he knew he did, but what made him finally glance up was that voice. _‘You idiot’_ , he knew them, that voice was ringing through his head like a song he couldn’t remember the words to, and it _hurt_ deep in his chest to hear it.

It was that raven haired man from the college; he must live around here, too. He stood in front of the canned foods with a gruffer looking man with long hair that just brushed the tops of his shoulders and facial hair. He could remember this man faintly, along with dragons and a daring rescue- fighting words, teasing, and a harsh fondness.

Arthur found it odd, the feeling he got seeing them teasing each other and smiling. _I belong there_. But he didn’t, he knew them in his head and it only made him ache for their companionship because he had no one else to yearn for. They were familiar to him, they’d _liked_ him in his dreams, had been his _friends_.

He was staring again. And he got caught, _again_.

Gwaine saw him first, and caught his gaze with an odd look, slapping Merlin on the shoulder to get his attention. He felt like he was being thrust and held under water when those blue eyes met his once more _._

“ _I warn you, I've been trained to kill since birth.” “Wow. And how long have you been training to be a prat?” “You can't address me like that.” “Sorry. How long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?”_

“ _When do I ever hit you?” “All the time.” “That’s not hitting, Merlin. It’s merely friendly slaps. It’s horseplay.” “So, can I give you a friendly slap?”_

“ _I want you to swear to me what you're telling me is true.” “I swear it's true.” “Then I believe you.”_

“ _Listen to me!” “You know me, Merlin, I never listen to you.”_

“ _I had no idea you were so keen to die for me”. “Trust me, I can hardly believe it myself.”_

“ _Well, I know you. And you're a great warrior. One day you'll be a great King.” “That's very kind of you. “But you must learn to listen as well as you fight.” “Any more pointers?” “No. That's it. Just... don't be a prat.”_

“ _Baby rats? They don’t sound so bad –““They feast on human flesh.” “Maybe we should go over the mountains…”_

“ _What if my father’s attitude to magic is wrong?” “You really think that?” “Perhaps it’s not as simple as he would have us believe. Morgause is a sorcerer, she’s caused us no harm. Surely not everyone who practices magic is evil?”_

“ _It is your fate to be the greatest King Camelot has ever known, and your victory today will be remembered for every age until the end of time.” “There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of - I don't know what it is. I want to say- it's not wisdom. But yes, that's what it is. Don't look so pleased, the rest of the time you look like a complete idiot.”_

“ _Look at what you've got.” “What?-““You... and me.” “Merlin, what exactly are you going to do?” “I'm going to be at your side - like I always am, protecting you.” “God help me.”_

“ _Merlin. It's a new day. You've been here all night?” “I didn't want you to feel that you were alone.” “You're a loyal friend, Merlin.”_

“ _Simpleminded fool?” “Oh, I was being kind, believe me. You almost got me killed in there.” “Me? You seemed to be doing a pretty good job of that yourself.” “What is wrong with you? Why can you never just let me be?” “I’m your friend! I was just looking out for you!”_

“ _You’re dressed!” “Yes, Merlin, I’m not an idiot!” “Are you sure about that?”_

_Blood and bodies, screaming-a flash of betrayal that grew over time until that betrayal was expected. A responsibility too mighty to conquer on his own. Fear, his and the people’s around him-their fear and pain-it was his duty to protect them, to protect all of them. It was so much, he was so angry though he tried not to be. Everyone betrayed him eventually. Everyone left him eventually-they expected so much from him and it was so much and they got so angry when they found he was just a man and couldn’t live up to their hopes. Everyone except for-_

_**Merlin.** _

Arthur hadn’t even realized he’d closed his eyes. Someone was standing in front of him, asking if he was alright and he opened his eyes to see Merlin looking worried and reaching out like he wanted to touch him, long, graceful fingers hovering over his shoulder as if requesting permission. It was too much, his head hurt, his body shivering though he seemed to be sweating suddenly and he had to get out _. Had to get away_ -get home to his empty house where no one expected anything of him. Home to where he wasn’t _responsible_ for anyone dying because he wasn’t _good enough-never good enough._

“S-sorry,” He mumbled, stumbling back. At some point, he’d dropped the few bags of chips he’d been holding under his arms and he left them where they’d fallen on the floor. “I’m fine, sorry about that.” Merlin was reaching for him again, looking like he wasn’t going to hesitate to grab ahold of him this time-fingers reaching for his wrist-he gave an apologetic smile and ran for the doors.

“ _Arthur_!” They yelled- _they knew his name, too?_ \- But he kept going until he was outside, shoes crunching on the icy sidewalk. _It wasn’t a dream, they weren’t dreams_! They couldn’t be, unless he was going insane.

Arthur Pendrick- Arthur _Pendragon_? What the hell was he, a reincarnation? But his father, he’d seen him in the long flash of memory, as well as Gwaine and Merlin. Were they _all_ reincarnations?

He slipped on some ice just a short ways from his house and he went down hard, busting his arse and soaking himself in snow. _Shit_. His cheeks were wet and cold, he’d been crying since the store. _Well, that’s embarrassing_. Merlin and Gwaine had seen him cry-and if he was in fact crazy and he was somehow unconsciously making all this up in his head just to escape from his lonely life or whatever, then they were probably wandering what the hell was wrong with that weird guy staring at them and crying in the middle of the grocery store.

Wincing, he picked himself up off the sidewalk and brushed his backside off as well as he could before continuing home at a much more reasonable pace.

This was ridiculous, all that time spent thinking he was supposed to be someone better and the whole time he’d been subconsciously aspiring to be King Arthur of Camelot? No wonder he was so dissatisfied with the person he was now, he could never live up to be _that_. He could never be that person, again, if he had ever been before. Even if he wanted to be _for Merlin_ , he couldn’t be that confident or brave. Hell, he couldn’t even act that spoiled, really, though he’d never been short on any possessions he desired in the material world. Truthfully, he would’ve much preferred his father to actually _like_ him over whatever the man could buy him.

If they were reincarnated, or whatever-if they had the same dreams or memories of him, he would disappoint them. They would want their old friend back and just be stuck with _him_. He wore glasses for goodness sake. He’d traded out armor and fine silks for oversized sweaters and sweats, which he was wearing right now- _oh lord they’d seen him in his shitty sweats_.

The house was quiet when he got there, besides the sound of someone vacuuming in the living room. He’d been hoping to avoid anyone seeing him like this, dried tears and puffy eyes, but he’d left his duffle bag of laundry resting on the leather couch in there and he wanted to change out of his clothes. He was going to just shoot a quick smile at the maid and grab his stuff. The moment he saw the maid who was occupying the room he froze again, a cold realization trailing down his spine when he caught sight of her face.

She’d been working for his father for a few months now and was only a year or so older than Arthur himself. She had long, dark curls that were usually braided while she worked and her eyes were intense beneath her sculpted eyebrows. Her face was of pale, porcelain and he knew most would call her beautiful-he would too if not for the coldness that radiated off of her. He’d never paid attention to her before today and the only reason he noticed her now was for the stroke of heady betrayal and fear she sent through him.

_Morgana_ -though he was fairly sure she was known as Morgan in this lifetime. Coupled with his other feelings sitting hot and uncomfortable in his gut was a sense of longing, she’d been his friend- _his sister_. They’d grown up together, played together. Shit, was she his half-sister in this life, too?

Morgan glanced up and he looked away quickly, heading over to his duffle on the couch. His eyes kept glancing over in her direction and every time he found she was still watching him with a cold, calculating look. “Arthur?” She spoke suddenly and he flinched slightly at her curious tone. “Oh, you do remember me now, don’t you? Good. I was getting tired of playing house.”

Some deep-rooted instinct told him to duck and roll out of the place he was standing, though he’d never done the move before, never been given a reason to. He executed it perfectly, managing to get out of the way just as a bolt of electricity struck the wall where it would’ve caught him in the back of his skull and fried his brain. There was a violent, smoking black stain on the wall, the scent of burning ozone clinging to the tense air in the room. _I almost died._ He swallowed down his panic, finally meeting Morgan’s gaze head on.

“What are you doing?” He stumbled, “Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t be such an idiot, Arthur.” She snarled nastily, pulling the ties out of her hair and letting the strands go free to cascade down her back in a mess of waves. _Really, Morgana? You have to let your hair down first before you kill me?_ She was still so dramatic. “You know why. I’m so glad you finally fully remembered, cleaning up after you and your _putrid_ father was getting tedious. I was so close to just ending you, but I’m glad I waited. It wouldn’t have been as much fun with you like you were.”

She lashed out again, giggling as he scrambled to get out the way. He didn’t make it all the way this time. It smacked him in the right shoulder and he could immediately smell burnt flesh as he cried out, the force of the hit twirling him as he went down. The pain was excruciating and he gripped the wound tightly with his other hand, wishing for relief. _He didn’t want to die_ -he’d just seen Merlin again. He wanted to talk to him, at least, to get his friend to like this side of him as much as he had before.

He wanted that chance.

Arthur shot to his feet, running towards Morgan at full speed and he could tell by her face she had not been expecting him to do that. She quickly raised her hand, but he stayed low-felt the ball of power come so close to the top of his head that his hair stood up on end just before he launched himself into her gut and sent them both hurdling into an end table. There was a loud crash and the girl screamed before falling silent and he looked down praying for no blood- _please don’t let her_ -

Their combined weight had smashed the table, sending table legs and wood everywhere from beneath where Morgan lay. She was unconscious, but still breathing, her hair splayed out around her head. Feeling around her skull, he checked for blood but found none and gave a sigh of relief. She just had a bump on the head and would probably have one nasty headache when she woke up, but she was alive and so was he.

He felt a surge of proudness go through him. He’d never been in a fight before or anything of the sort but he’d taken out a _sorceress_ all on his own. He resisted the urge to fist pump and do a victory dance, but mostly only because he was feeling a little dizzy.

His shoulder burned and ached and he took a minute before finally getting back to his feet, swaying slightly as he headed for his duffle once more, this time without interruptions. She was not going to be happy when she woke up and he figured back at school would be the safest place for him right now, so he swung his bag up onto his good shoulder. However, when opening the front door to leave, he was met with none other than Merlin and Gwaine on his stoop, Merlin’s hand raised as if about to knock.

Their eyes went wide in surprise, and Arthur was sure he was wearing the same expression as he took a step back into the house on impulse. “ _Merlin_? What the hell-?”

“You do remember.” The man said in awe and his eyes grew shimmery in emotion. “I thought you might’ve at the school, but, well you kept walking. And then at the grocery, I could see it in your eyes, but you _ran,_ and I just had to know-“

“We-you have to go. Really, we need to get out of here-“She was going to wake up, eventually, would she attack Merlin, too? Did he have his magic in this lifetime as well?

Merlin’s face crumpled in hurt and Gwaine looked suddenly thunderous. “Go? But, I’ve been waiting for you, I don’t understand. Don’t you want to see me? The rest of your friends?”

“No, no, no-I mean yes, I do! But you don’t-look we, I said a collective _we_ need to get away from this house-“

“What the hell’s wrong with your shoulder, princess?” Gwaine demanded gruffly from his spot behind Merlin. Merlin’s blue eyes glanced down and his whole demeanor seemed to change when he saw the damage done to his shoulder.

“Who did that to you?” He growled and his eyes lit up, the color of liquid gold and Arthur was momentarily transfixed. “ _Arthur_ , what _happened_?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say.” He huffed, crossing his arms across his chest. He immediately regretted it, wincing as he let them fall back to his sides. “Morgana’s inside and she’s knocked out but we need to go before she wakes up.”

Merlin reached out to touch his burned skin and he flinched slightly before making himself ease. This was Merlin. He recognized those eyes from all his dreams as a child and they meant _safety_ , protection. Merlin paused in his movements, staring back into Arthur’s eyes-waiting until he felt the blonde relax before he pulled his shirt open a little to see the blackened skin of his shoulder. Merlin and he both grimaced when they saw it. It was ugly, a circle of charred black surrounded by raw, and bleeding muscle. Gwaine made a sympathetic, angry sound that seemed to almost tear itself free from his throat.

Merlin’s eyes were stained a permanent gold, livid as they took in the seared skin. “I’ll kill her.” He said lowly and Arthur shuddered to hear it. _He loves me. He cares for me, wants to hurt those who hurt me_. It’d been that way before, too.

This is what he’d always wanted, just for someone to care whether or not he was suffering.

“I’m not him, you know.” He admitted sadly, feeling giddy with want. “I’m different. I could try for you, but I’m not.”

They were giving him weird looks and Merlin laid a cool hand against the side of his neck and he shuddered against the touch. “Jesus, Arthur, you always have to do things the hard way don’t you? He’s going to go into shock, Gwaine, and I’m not so great at healing spells. We have to get him to the hospital.”

“Right.” The other man said, stepping close to Arthur. He gave a big, teasing smile. “Do you want me to carry you, your royal highness?”

“God, no.” He moaned. “I can walk I think. If you would just let me lean on you.” He could tell by both their faces this was an odd thing for their Arthur to say and he knew by his memories it was. Their Arthur was wholly stubborn and would deny needed help until unconsciousness or worse. But he wasn’t him and sadly enough he liked human touch when he was sick or hurt (more like _anytime_ , really) and he never got it these days so he figured he should soak it up where he could.

Looking slightly more worried now, Gwaine threw his arm-the one on his uninjured side, of course-over a firmly muscled shoulder, gripping him around the waist as he drew him close and began the walk down the driveway. Merlin stayed close, his hand never losing contact with Arthur though it also never stayed in one place.

“How did you get past security?” He wandered as they came up on the gate.

“Magic.” Merlin answered with a proud smirk and Arthur didn’t doubt him for a second. The guard they passed by was sitting reading book from inside the small office where they kept all the security feeds. He didn’t look up from his book as the gates opened for them and closed behind them again.

“That’s pretty neat.” Merlin’s smile got bigger, his pale cheeks turning a little pink. The man’s emotions were all over the place and hard to pinpoint. He was smiling big and happy but his brow was still creased with worry and righteous anger. Arthur had never met anyone better-had never seen anyone with so much light and energy coming off them since his mother and he couldn’t help but be completely entranced.

Personally, he was so happy, he wasn’t sure what to do, laugh insanely or have a seizure. _Both! He had friends_. Sure they might not like him anymore once they actually started talking to him, but they were here now. And he was already quite attached. It would be heartbreaking to suddenly not have Merlin’s big, goofy grin or Gwaine’s gruff teasing in his life ever again.

_I want to keep you_. He thought and grinned back at Merlin before everything went dark.

=3

“I had to carry you anyways, you know.”-Was the first thing he heard when he opened his eyes to a disgruntled Gwaine standing above him with his arms crossed over his chest.

Arthur rolled his eyes, wincing as he sat up slowly. “You poor thing, you.”

“And you just about gave Merlin a heart attack.” Now he felt a little guilty. He hadn’t meant to pass out, hadn’t even seen it coming, really.

“Where is Merlin?” He asked, hoping he didn’t sound too desperate. Gwaine’s smile told him he did, unfortunately.

“He stepped out to call the others. He’s not going to be happy you chose to wake up the moment he left.”

_Dammit_. He rolled his eyes again and lay back down, taking in the hospital room he was in. It all looked completely normal-he was quite familiar with hospital rooms-except for the flowers and cards that sat covering every flat surface in his room. His mouth dropped open- _there was so many_ -and he shot a look at Gwain who just shrugged.

“Merlin bought quite a few, _made_ me buy one, and Gwen and her brother brought some in. I’m not sure where everyone else’s is going to go, I guess on the floor? But you know Merlin, mate; he just went kind of overboard.”

He choked down a sob and Gwaine’s head snapped over in his direction, so he pounded on his chest trying to pass it off as a cough. Dear Lord, this was too much for him, they’d all been friends-close friends before dying but this-Merlin had bought the bulk of the items in the room? For him? And more people were coming to see him-to re-meet him and see how he was doing and _bring_ him things. Was that a stuffed _dragon_ sitting on the bedside table beside him? It was _cute_ , big green eyes looking dolefully at him and it’s fuzzy outside colored a dazzling blue and gold.

He immediately named it _Emrys_ in his head, half because it was funny, but mostly because of its expression and vivid coloring reminded him of Merlin.

Arthur had picked it up and settled in his lap, playing with the sequined wings while avoiding Gwaine’s eyes when Merlin finally swooped in through the door. His eyes were a mixture of fondness and uncensored joy when he caught sight of Arthur lying awake in the hospital bed, and absolute annoyance when he saw Gwaine.

“He’s awake and you didn’t think to come _get_ me?” He punctuated the sentence with a swift slap to the back of Gwaine’s head and the other man whirled in indignation.

“He’s only been awake for a few minutes!” He grumped, rubbing the back of his head as he pouted forlornly. “Plus, you _said_ not to leave him alone.”

Merlin scoffed, shoving him slightly and coming to stand next to Arthur’s bed. “Hi.” He grinned chirpily, eyes going to the dragon in his lap. “You like him? He’s cute, right? Did you name him?”

“Sure did. Thank you.” He choked, though this time it was to stop himself from laughing as he neatly avoided the question. “I really appreciate all this, but you didn’t have to buy me anything, you know.”

“I know.” Merlin said back, eyes twinkling in mirth. “The others will be here soon. They’re excited to see you.”

Nervousness fluttered through his stomach and he swallowed, shoulder twinging in discomfort as he unconsciously crushed Emrys to his chest. “So, who all did you call?”

Merlin’s eyes went wide. “Oh! I’m sorry, Arthur, do you want me to call someone for you? I forgot, the nurse said your dad was listed as an emergency contact, but she couldn’t reach him. Did you want me to have a go at it? Or was there anyone else you wanted me to call?”

“No.” He snorted, relaxing slightly. He was nervous about meeting everyone from _before_ , but Merlin was here, it would be okay. “No, father’s busy and there’s no one else to call.” Uther did usually answer his phone, but it was probably turned off for the flight. He did ponder having his father here, but it would just end with his own disappointment, most likely.

“No one?” The skin around Merlin’s mouth tightened and he reached out suddenly, wrapping his fingers around Arthur’s forearm. Gwaine looked a little angry again, but he knew that was the man’s default emotion around Arthur. Gwaine sent him a little wave before slipping out of the room and leaving him alone with Merlin for the first time since their stunted meeting in the school hallway. “I was hoping Uther would be better this time around.” Merlin said quietly, like he was afraid to upset him, and once upon a time-yes, he probably would’ve gotten defensive.

“He is, um, different. But not better. After mum passed he just got worse, you know?”

“I’m sorry, Arthur. When did she die?”

“I was twelve, so at least I got a little time with her this time around.” He’d hated having her be taken from him, always would, but he would also say he was lucky now. After remembering his past life and that she’d died at childbirth, he was glad he’d gotten to meet that wonderful woman this time around. “What about you? How’s your family?”

The sadness faded a little from Merlin’s face at the thought of his own family, his hand a warm comfort resting on Arthur while he talked. “Everyone’s good. It’s a little weird because they weren’t really my blood family, but they all remember me finally. I’m actually teaching Gaius magic this time around, but he’s better at the healing spells than I am. You’d think I would’ve mastered it after centuries of practice, but _no_.”

Arthur frowned in confusion. “Centuries of practice?”

“Oh, um, yeah.” Merlin laughed quietly, sounding sheepish. “I’ve been waiting for you to come back. I found the others first and it was great because I’d never expected them to come back, too. But I got worried when you never showed up. I could _feel_ you were somewhere, but I couldn’t _find_ you. I’m sorry, Arthur, I tried to find you sooner, I did.”

Merlin looked frustrated and genuinely sorry and Arthur’s head was being overloaded with so many emotions. “Are you kidding? What-you waited centuries. For me. That’s-that’s unbelievable, Merlin. I can’t even imagine that- so you just don’t age?”

“Not so far, no.” His cheeks were colored pink, standing out brightly against his alabaster skin and his eyes were turned down. Everything Arthur had seen in his eyes made sense now. Merlin’s eyes were shaded with an old sadness that captivated him, that drew him in and held him. How long had he been alone before finding someone?

“I’m different than I was. But I’ll do my best to make you happy anyways.”

Merlin’s old eyes snapped up to meet his. “You keep saying that. You’re different than you were. What do you mean?” His tone sounded suspicious and Arthur shrugged nervously.

“I remember the old me and I’d like to be more like that. But I’m not-I’m weird and quiet and I wear glasses. I mean, the bravest I’ve ever been was when I knocked Morgana on her arse-which was pretty neat after I was sure she wasn’t brain dead. I’ve never been particularly good at anything in my life except reading, I’m good at reading. The only friend I’ve ever had was my mother and while I’m not ashamed of that, I know it’s not exactly normal or considered cool-” A lengthy palm covered his mouth and he fought the instinctual urge to lick it.

“That’s the most I’ve heard you talk, I think and while normally I’d hate to stop you-I don’t much approve of how you’re speaking. So, shut up, Arthur.” Merlin demanded. “I waited for you. I missed you _so much_ , more than I ever thought possible. I missed everything about you-not just the braveness or your honor, but your laugh and your loyalty, I missed _everything_. I prayed every day to whatever religion I could find-begged whoever would listen to give you back to me. It was better after I began finding the others, but they never recognized me at first and every time-it hurt worse every time it wasn’t you. Then, there you were at my college, after all that time and you found me instead. I shouldn’t have let you go that day, but I was kind of in shock. I didn’t even go to class, I spent the next few days before the break looking for you on campus but no one knew you. And then you found me again in the store. My God, Arthur, whatever you’re thinking, you’re _wrong_. I see _you_ every time you move or smile. You’re the old Arthur and _more_ , that’s all. And frankly, I like the glasses on you. No matter what, you’re my Arthur, don’t forget that.”

_Holy shit_. Arthur’s face felt hot and his eyes itched with the promise of tears if the conversation kept on like this. How was Merlin even real? Stuff like this only happened in books and on television. _He was important_. He actually mattered to someone-someone was actually happy to _see_ him.

“Oops.” Merlin snatched his hand away flushing again. “Sorry.”

“You mean it?” He whispered, voice full of wander and longing.

“Of course I do. So what if you’re different? I think it’ll be fun getting to know you-who you are now.”

And what could he say to that? Nothing at the time, he was trying not to start ugly crying all over the place. So, instead Arthur sat up and embraced his friend, burying his face into Merlin’s shoulder and ignoring the faint throbbing in his own. Merlin gave a small sound of surprise before hugging back just as tightly, one arm wrapping around his back while the other came up to grip the back of his neck.

“Just so you know,” He said quietly, his words tickling the blonde hair on top of Arthur’s head. “I’m not letting you out of my sight for a very long time.”

“What about when I go to the bathroom?” He teased, his voice just as light.

“Yeah, fine, I guess, but other than that-no way.”

“When I’m changing clothes?”

“ _Fine,_ but you’re pushing it.”

Arthur laughed and pulled back, though all he wanted was to burrow himself into Merlin and stay forever. Merlin seemed a little reluctant to let go himself, leaving a hand to rest around his shoulder as he got comfortable sitting on the bed, tossing his feet up into a nearby chair and using it as a foot rest.

=3

He must’ve fallen asleep at some point because the next time he opened his eyes it was to a room full of familiar people whispering to each other. Their faces were like echoes, his mind supplying names as he took them in. Gwen looked lovely in a deep purple dress from where she leaned against a fond Lancelot, his fingers twirling around her ringlet curls as she smiled up at him.

Arthur stared at them, taking in the relationship that’d broken him the first time around. Thankfully, all he felt now was happiness for them-they were finally free to be together.

Elyan was poking an annoyed Leon, while Percival watched on with a smile. He could feel his own mouth lift into a grin. Merlin and Gwaine were arguing quietly in a corner.

Gwen looked over in his direction and her face lite up in excitement when she saw his eyes open. “Arthur! You’re awake!”

He felt himself smile back. _He could do this_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is simply last chapter retold in Merlin's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the comments and kudos! I'm kind of surprised my story got so much traffic considering how long its been since the series ended. But, once a fan, always a fan. ^^ This story has a special place in my heart, but it's been years since I first posted this on fanfiction, so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes. Or if it just sucks ;)

He was pretty sure he felt it the night Arthur was born. He was sleeping fitfully in his lonely flat when a fire lit beneath his breastbone and he shot up in bed gasping, hands groping his chest. For so long, he’d felt his other half’s loss like a deep chasm inside him, eating up every emotion but sadness and longing. That night, it felt like he had a small piece of himself returned to him. Not enough, not nearly enough, but this was something. He was pretty sure this was something. _Please let this be something_. God, if what he was feeling was just heartburn-

The feeling in his chest burned brighter and he cried out in alarm, eyes blinking a fierce gold. _Arthur_. His soul called out, and something called back softly, just barely there-but answering all the same. _I’ll find you._ He promised. _I’ll find you, Arthur, just wait for me_. He wasn’t sure if Arthur had heard him-wasn’t sure of anything really-but he still felt the warmth ringing in his chest, like a beacon.

_Come find me, come find me_. It seemed to sing. And it was all he thought about.

=3

Five years since he’d regained his spark, a teaser of his other half, Merlin decided this day to go to the market. It was destiny that he’d picked this specific place and time, it had to be. Or else he was just extremely lucky.

This was where he met a younger Gaius and his mother, though in this lifetime she wasn’t technically related to him. The longing almost swamped him, seeing them smiling and walking around, chatting as they picked out fresh fruits and vegetables, herbs and spices. His mother threw her head back, laughing freely at something Gaius said.

Hunith looked beautiful and so familiar with her hair twisted into a loose bun, bright sundress curling around her calves. He felt his eyes burn with tears. Did she have another kid in this lifetime? Another son that she fondly scolded and hugged and loved like she’d once done for him? Was his father alive, too? Jesus, he was feeling insanely jealous after just watching the two of them shop for groceries. Why shouldn’t his mother have another child? A family? She didn’t know him.

His mother saw him first, met his eyes across the oranges. Her eyes twinkled and she gave a slow smile, filled with joy and he knew. She’d remembered him. And that loneliness that threatened to swallow him sometimes got a little smaller when she opened her arms and beckoned him in for a hug.

=3

His dreams were filled with memories. Like a graveyard, the dead danced around his head and he fought all over again to keep them alive. If he was going by the night he felt what he fully believed to be Arthur’s rebirth, Arthur would be nearly twelve by now.

The other day he’d been walking by a school and there, just along the fence staring at him with big, doe eyes had been Gwen. Merlin knew the instant he saw her it was Gwen, even though she was no older than twelve, herself. Her hair was French braided into pig-tails that hung down to her shoulders and she looked at him nervously in her navy skirt and matching uniformed vest. “Hi.” She’d said, smiling shyly. “It’s good to see you, Merlin.” And his answering smile had been so big his face had ached with happiness.

After Gwen, the years rolled by smoothly and he found reincarnations of his friends one by one. Before he knew it, the age where he and Arthur had first met past them by and still, every new person who remembered him wasn’t the one he needed most.

_Where are you?_ He called. The answering gleam was weak, like usual. _I’m trying to find you. I need to find you._

And still the years kept passing.

=3

He hadn’t given up. Gaius had convinced him to go to college with Gwaine-“ _Maybe you’ll see Arthur there_.” And he found he enjoyed it. But he hadn’t given up, would never give up searching. The singing was getting stronger like a drum beating beneath his skin, hunkering down inside him.

_Come find me_. It thrummed. _Come find me_.

He searched the internet constantly, looking through dozens of webpages and pictures, but Arthur was an extremely popular name it seemed, in London. He wasn’t even sure his Arthur was _in_ London, what if he was an American? He’d never find him. But he would never stop looking.

It was just before Christmas vacation and his mind was wandering over what he would get everyone for Christmas. He’d finished up just about all the shopping, but there were a few more he had put off to the end. Elyan and Gwaine were unbelievably hard to shop for. He was heading for his last class of the day when the drumming in his soul became a full beat.

Merlin’s head shot up and met the eyes he’d been dreaming of since the day he’d been left without them. Arthur stood there staring back at him from across the hallway, brilliant blue eyes looking huge behind a pair of black framed glasses. His blonde hair was a little longer than he used to keep it, curling slightly at the ends and he wore an oversized, rust colored sweater with thumbholes. _Thumbholes_. Jesus, the sight tugged on his heart and his body froze and tightened with the need to hold him.

_I found you_.

Then his other half was gone, his face turning bright pink as he turned it to the floor and walked away fast, leaving Merlin staring at what felt like a ghost. “Come back.” He croaked out too late, his voice barely a whisper.

He’d missed it. His destiny had come found him all over again and he’d missed it.

He practically flew down the path he’d seen Arthur take, skidding around corners and trying to see which class he’d gone into. When that didn’t work, he took to asking every person he passed in the hall. “Do you know an Arthur? He has blonde hair, blue eyes, and glasses-?” The answer was always the same.

Until it wasn’t.

He didn’t go to classes for the next week, choosing instead to search the whole campus for his friend, desperate to find him. He couldn’t believe how many people he’d asked and even more unbelievable was how many people had absolutely no clue who he was talking about. Someone had to know him, right? Or maybe Arthur really had been a ghost.

It was a relief when he finally found someone to confirm what he had seen hadn’t just been a hallucination.

“Oh yeah.” A girl with her brown hair cut into a bob nodded her head, re-applying her lipstick while the rest of her friends just looked on quietly. “Quiet, weird kid, real good looking. Thinks he’s better than everyone else.”

“No he doesn’t.” A mousier girl cut in, rolling her eyes. “He’s just painfully shy and you threw yourself at him. That would’ve freaked anyone the hell out.”

The other girl shot a nasty glare at her, the rest of the group snorting and giggling into their hands.

“You know him?” He turned his full attention to the mousey girl with hopeful eyes. “Can you tell me his last name? Where his dorm is? Anything?”

She stared at him, looking unsure at his enthusiasm. “He’s a nice person. Whatever you got planning, leave him out of it.”

“I’m an old friend! I promise! I’m Merlin, we met when we were younger and I never got his last name. Please, I just want to talk to him again.”

The girl stared him down for a few more minutes before finally relenting. “I think his last name is Pendrick. My boyfriend is his roommate, so I’ve seen him a few times, but I imagine he’ll probably be heading home for the holidays. Best luck would be to wait until after Christmas break.” The disappointment was nearly too much for him. These last few days had been hell, how could he possibly wait another two weeks? “Or you could look up his father, Uther. He’s a big famous corporate or something, so you might be able to find his address, maybe by calling his office. I doubt he’ll be in the phone book.” She must’ve seen the devastation on his face and taken pity on him.

“Thank you.” He said, more grateful than anything-“Thank you so much.”

He had a clue, he could do it. He would do it.

=3

Leaving campus felt like losing a limb, but his family was expecting him. He aspired to continue the search for Arthur over the break. So far, the secretaries in Uther’s office had refused to give out any personal information, but he was wearing them down, he could tell. (Truthfully, no he wasn’t, but searching any and all newspaper articles about the Pendrick’s would hopefully turn up something.)

“You’re sure it was him?” Gwaine asked as soon as Merlin told him about seeing Arthur. He’d found Gwaine on the street one day. He’d just been walking and there he was, passing in the opposite direction, whistling. He looked different in jeans and a leather jacket, yet carried himself the same. As confident as he’d always been.

“Definitely.” He assured, eyes flaring gold. “It was him, Gwaine. I know it was and I think he recognized me, too.”

“Then why did he take off? All the rest of us remembered you right off the bat, why wouldn’t he?”

He’d avoided asking himself that since the day in the hall. “I don’t know. But it was him and I’m going to find him.”

“I believe you.” Gwaine grinned. “If anyone could find his royal ass, you could.”

“Don’t call him that.” Merlin rolled his eyes, quick to defend. Gwaine just rolled his eyes back and shoved him.

=3

“Merlin, really, I don’t see the difference between one can of cranberry sauce and another!” Gwaine growled in annoyance, yanking the can away from where Merlin had been waving it in his face.

“It does make a difference, Gwaine, that’s why I’m picking it. And really, you idiot, if you can’t tell the difference, why do you care which one I pick?” He shot back, grabbing the can again and holding it close to his chest.

“ _Merlin_ -“Gwaine cut off suddenly, glancing at something behind them with an odd look. Merlin just figured it must be other people walking through and giving them the stink eye for being too loud-that happened more often than it should around Gwaine. But then his friend slapped him on the shoulder, directing him to look behind them.

And there he was. Their eyes met and Merlin took him in greedily. His cheeks were flushed red with cold, hands frozen in front of his mouth like he’d been blowing on them to warm them up. Arthur was wearing a sweater jacket and amazingly enough, an old pair of sweatpants. He looked nothing like his old self. He was the best thing Merlin had ever seen.

Arthur’s gaze went blank and the bags of chips he’d been holding hit the floor. “Arthur?” He called cautiously, walking towards him. Arthur didn’t respond but his a slight shaking started up in his hand before carrying on to the rest of his body. “Arthur?” He asked more worriedly and closed the distance between them, though he made sure not to touch him. The effort not to reach out and wrap his shaking friend in his arms physically hurt. Then tears began to form in Arthur’s eyes and roll down his cheeks and it felt like someone was stabbing him repeatedly in the chest.

“He’s remembering.” Gwain said quietly in awe watching as Arthur’s wet eyes slid closed and Merlin knew it to be true. It made the pain hurt a little less, but he could count the number of times he’d seen Arthur cry on one hand (Well, tear up, he’d seen Arthur tear up before and that alone had been enough to make his own echoing soul ache for him.)

“Oh, Arthur.” He breathed, hand reaching out to hover over the blonde, not touching- _still not touching_ -but there if the other lost his balance. “I don’t understand, Gwaine. It wasn’t like this for any of you. Hell, I think you recognized me first.”

“It’s Arthur. He never does anything half-way.”

Merlin reached out, about ready to touch his friend anyways when Arthur’s eyes snapped open. He went still; hand outstretched and frozen just inches from Arthur’s shaking shoulder. Arthur’s eyes went wide and almost scared. “S-sorry.” He stuttered and stumbled away from Merlin’s reach. “I’m fine, sorry about that.” He couldn’t help it, Merlin reached out for his wrist this time, feeling like he was losing his other half _once again_. Arthur gave an apologetic smile and dodged his touch, sprinting for the front exit doors.

“Arthur!” His hearing was muffled, but he felt his mouth move, knew he was screaming. “ _Arthur_!” By the time Arthur had hit the street outside, he’d finally snapped out of it enough to follow. Gwaine was beside him running.

Arthur wasn’t in sight when they hit the sidewalk; cold air having no effect on Merlin’s racing heart as he sweated in his thick cable-knit sweater and coat. But Arthur had been running hard enough to leave deep imprints on the icy pavement. Eyes on the ground and the streets, they took off at a brisk pace and hoped the footprints they were following were without a doubt his friend’s. After a few blocks they reached the nicer houses, older looking Victorians with gated entries.

“There!” Gwaine shouted and pointed ahead to where they saw a frantic looking Arthur enter one of the biggest houses on the block, the large black gates closing behind him as he went. “Damn! We’ll have to wait until he comes out. I doubt we can just go up to the door and tell them to let us in.”

“We don’t need to.” Merlin said firmly, eyes narrowing as he walked confidently up to the house. “I’m a sorcerer, Gwain. I got this.” No one was going to keep him away from Arthur in this life or the next- _especially Arthur, the stubborn git_.

Making the gates open for them was the easiest part. The hard part was cloaking himself and Gwain so the guard sitting in the security office watching television wouldn’t notice two blokes walking past him. With a wordy spell and a flash of his eyes, they were through and walking up the long driveway. Gwain kept kicking out at the flower bushes just to get on Merlin’s nerves.

“You’re funny when you’re angry.” Gwain admitted after the fifth time and Merlin fought the urge to strangle the man with his neck scarf.

“ _Bugger off_ , Gwain. This is kind of important.” Gwain gave a mischievous smile, but he did stop.

Finally they reached the front door which was painted a royal blue and had an intricate gold knocker in the middle. Merlin came to a stop on the stoop, taking deep breaths. _He was so nervous_. What if Arthur just slammed the door in his face, or told him he didn’t want to be friends anymore? _Then I’ll stalk his arse until he gives in_.

He raised his hand to grip the knocker-

A frazzled looking Arthur yanked the door open and out of his reach. His blonde hair was damp with sweat and sticking up everywhere and his glasses were lopsided on his face. _He was the most perfect thing he’d ever seen_.

Arthur looked completely shocked and took a half step back into the house. “ _Merlin_? What the hell-?”

“You do remember.” Merlin breathed. He didn’t even realize how scared he’d been that Arthur might still not know him, but the absolute relief he felt now could have made him fly. “I thought you might’ve at the school, but, well you kept walking. And then at the grocery, I could see it in your eyes, but you _ran,_ and I just had to know-“

“We-you have to go. Really, we need to get out of here-“ Arthur cut in, sounding worried and panicky as he glanced over his shoulder and back.

Merlin’s face crumpled in hurt and Gwaine looked suddenly thunderous. “Go? But, I’ve been waiting for you, I don’t understand. Don’t you want to see me? The rest of your friends?” He couldn’t leave, not now. Not now that he had the other side of his coin back, finally after waiting for so long.

“No, no, no-I mean yes, I do! But you don’t-look we, I said a collective _we_ need to get away from this house-“

“What the hell’s wrong with your shoulder, princess?” Gwaine demanded gruffly from his spot behind Merlin. Merlin glanced down at the shoulder in question and felt his eyes widen in absolute horror.

“Who did that to you?” He growled and felt his eyes burn with righteousness. “ _Arthur_ , what _happened_?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say.” He huffed, crossing his arms across his chest. The blonde winced and let his arms drop again and Merlin felt as if he could set this world on fire at the sight of that pain. “Morgana’s inside and she’s knocked out but we need to go before she wakes up.”

Merlin reached out to touch the burned skin through Arthur’s shirt and the blonde flinched. Merlin paused in his movements, staring back into Arthur’s eyes-waiting until he felt the blonde relax before he pulled his shirt open a little to see the blackened skin of his shoulder. Both him and Arthur grimaced when they got a good look at it. It was ugly, a circle of charred black surrounded by raw, and bleeding muscle. Gwaine made a sympathetic, angry sound that seemed to almost tear itself free from his throat.

Merlin’s eyes were stained a permanent gold, livid as they took in the seared skin. “I’ll kill her.” He said lowly and he meant it. Morgana, the wicked little girl had no idea who she was messing with. How dare she torment Arthur in one life and then follow him into the next.

“I’m not him, you know.” Arthur said quietly, sounding sad and Merlin glanced up from the wound. “I’m different. I could try for you, but I’m not.”

_What_? Merlin felt his face crinkle in confusion before taking in the red flush of Arthur’s cheeks against his pale skin, a light sheen of sweat covering his forehead. He reached up slowly to rest a hand on the blonde’s forehead, taking in the glazed eyes behind the glasses with a curse. “Jesus, Arthur, you always have to do things the hard way don’t you? He’s going to go into shock, Gwaine, and I’m not so great at healing spells. We have to get him to the hospital.” After all this time, he _still_ couldn’t heal to save his life-or apparently other peoples.

“Right.” The other man said, stepping close to Arthur. He gave a big, teasing smile. “Do you want me to carry you, your royal highness?”

“God, no.” He moaned. “I can walk I think. If you would just let me lean on you.” Merlin felt his heart stutter with worry. If Arthur accepted help walking, he must’ve been in a lot of pain.

Looking slightly more worried now, Gwaine threw Arthur’s uninjured arm over his own shoulder, gripping him around the waist as he drew him close and began the walk down the driveway. Merlin stayed close, his hand never losing contact with Arthur though it also never stayed in one place.

“How did you get past security?” Arthur asked in a curious tone as he leaned against Gwain, eyes half closed.

“Magic.” Merlin answered, failing to keep the pride out of his tone. The guard they’d passed by earlier was now reading a book and didn’t even look up when the gates opened. Merlin kept the cloaking spell up a lot easier this time and they walked through the gates and out on the sidewalk with ease, the metal clinking quietly as it slipped closed behind them.

“That’s pretty neat.” Arthur said and Merlin felt his cheeks warm from the compliment. _I would do anything you wanted me to._ He thought impulsively, his hand resting now on the blondes forearm.

“Shit.” Gwain cursed and staggered slightly before righting himself. Merlin looked over in alarm. “He passed out. He’ll be fine, Merlin, quit looking like he’s dying.”

“I want to kill her, Gwaine.” He said low, dark as he took in Arthur’s slumped form.

“I know.” Gwaine replied and stopped walking. “Now, help me get him on my back. Back in my life for less than a day and he’s already a pain in my arse.”

=3

They got a room in the hospital pretty quick, though still not quick enough for Merlin’s taste. After giving him a look over and dressing his shoulder, the doctor said he’d be fine, but sore for a while until the skin healed back. _Unacceptable_. Merlin thought, staring down at Arthur from his place beside his bed, soul ringing and mind blazing for retribution. Morgana could have killed him. _Morgana could have killed Arthur and Merlin wouldn’t have been there to stop her._ Him and Gwaine hadn’t shown up until the fight was over, anything could have happened.

He had Arthur’s hand in-between his own, the fingers and palm soft where he would’ve once had callouses from sword training. He remembered how he looked in the glasses and soft sweaters, blonde hair fluffing up in tufts. Arthur was different, more innocent and shy. It was doing insane things to Merlin’s insides and all he wanted to do was take the blonde back to his loft and never let him out again.

One thing he was certain of, if Morgana tried to take Arthur from him, he wouldn’t let her off with a slap on the wrist.

=3

“Oh, I’m so happy for you, Merlin.” Gwen cooed into the phone. “I’m so glad you’ve finally found him. Lancelot and I will be there soon with the others to see him.”

Merlin smiled slightly. He’d stepped out into the hallway to make a few calls and to talk to the nurses about Arthur’s emergency contacts. The list was short. In fact, the only people on it were Uther and Uther’s secretary. No one had been able to reach the man, yet, but his secretary had claimed his flight had touched down an hour before. She told them she’d take a message and let Uther know to get back to them as soon as he was able.

Even in this lifetime, Uther was a prick.

“Thanks, Gwen.” He said, watching the door down the hall that led to Arthur’s room. He hated leaving, but Gwaine promised to let him know the second Arthur woke up. “My mum coming?”

“Of course! She said she’ll be there after she gets off work tonight. She’s bringing flowers and sweeties, as well. I think she’s been baking all morning.”

“Good.” Merlin laughed lightly, thinking of the room full of flowers and chocolates he’d already bought. “Arthur loves sweets. Alright, I’ll talk to you later, Gwen. I’ve got to get back to him.”

“Of course, love. Be back as soon as we can. Take care of him.”

“Always.” He hung up, sliding the phone back into his pocket before quickly making his way back to the room.

Arthur was sitting up in bed with the stuffed dragon Merlin had bought for him in his lap. His face snapped up from where he’d been starring at the toy to meet Merlin’s and the blue eyes lighting up happily was enough to make him want to sweep the blonde into his arms. He turned his gaze to Gwaine standing nonchalantly to the side and his eyes narrowed in annoyance. “He’s awake and you didn’t think to come _get_ me?” The sentence was punctuated with a swift slap to the back of Gwaine’s head and the other man whirled in indignation.

“He’s only been awake for a few minutes!” He grumped, rubbing the back of his head as he pouted forlornly. “Plus, you _said_ not to leave him alone.”

Merlin scoffed, shoving him slightly and coming to stand next to Arthur’s bed. “Hi.” He grinned chirpily, eyes going to the dragon in his lap. “You like him? He’s cute, right? Did you name him?”

“Sure did. Thank you.” Arthur choked out slightly, face twitching in amusement. “I really appreciate all this, but you didn’t have to buy me anything, you know.”

“I know.” Merlin said back- _yes I did. I would give you the world if you only asked for it_. “The others will be here soon. They’re excited to see you.”

Arthur’s face crumpled a little bit and his grip on the dragon grew tighter. “So, who all did you call?”

Merlin’s eyes went wide. “Oh! I’m sorry, Arthur, do you want me to call someone for you? I forgot, the nurse said your dad was listed as an emergency contact, but she couldn’t reach him. Did you want me to have a go at it? Or was there anyone else you wanted me to call?” Was there someone they missed? A girlfriend perhaps? He had to have other friends, though the thought of them made Merlin’s teeth clench in unwanted jealousy. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with Arthur?

“No.” The blonde snorted and he seemed to relax again into the bed. “No, father’s busy and there’s no one else to call.”

“No one?” The skin around Merlin’s mouth tightened and he reached out suddenly, not able to help himself as he wrapped his fingers around Arthur’s forearm. He hardly even noticed the door close when Gwaine slipped out, leaving the two of them alone. “I was hoping Uther would be better this time around.” Merlin said wearily, not wanting to start a fight. He dreaded the thought of upsetting Arthur.

“He is, um, different. But not better. After mum passed he just got worse, you know?”

“I’m sorry, Arthur. When did she die?” _Of course he had to lose his mother again_.

“I was twelve, so at least I got a little time with her this time around.” Arthur smiled fondly in thought of her and Merlin ached for him. “What about you? How’s your family?”

At the mention of his family, he couldn’t help but brighten. _They’re your family, too_. “Everyone’s good. It’s a little weird because they weren’t really my blood family, but they all remember me finally. I’m actually teaching Gaius magic this time around, but he’s better at the healing spells than I am. You’d think I would’ve mastered it after centuries of practice, but _no_.” It was utter shit if you asked him. He really needed to practice more because whatever he was doing wasn’t cutting it.

Arthur frowned, brow wrinkling in confusion. “Centuries of practice?”

“Oh, um, yeah.” Merlin laughed sheepishly, feeling suddenly a little embarrassed. “I’ve been waiting for you to come back. I found the others first and it was great because I’d never expected them to come back, too. But I got worried when you never showed up. I could _feel_ you were somewhere, but I couldn’t _find_ you. I’m sorry, Arthur, I tried to find you sooner, I did.”

He was alone for so long, struggling every day to carry on when his purpose had been taken from him.

“Are you kidding? What-you waited centuries. For me. That’s-that’s unbelievable, Merlin. I can’t even imagine that- so you just don’t age?”

“Not so far, no.” He felt his cheeks warm slightly and fought the urge to reach up and try to rub it away.

“I’m different than I was. But I’ll do my best to make you happy anyways.”

Merlin looked up in surprise, meeting his friend’s. “You keep saying that. You’re different than you were. What do you mean?” He asked suspiciously and some part of him was afraid he already knew the answer.

“I remember the old me and I’d like to be more like that. But I’m not-I’m weird and quiet and I wear glasses. I mean, the bravest I’ve ever been was when I knocked Morgana on her arse-which was pretty neat after I was sure she wasn’t brain dead. I’ve never been particularly good at anything in my life except reading, I’m good at reading. The only friend I’ve ever had was my mother and while I’m not ashamed of that, I know it’s not exactly normal or considered cool-”

He couldn’t listen any longer. Narrowing his eyes, he reached out, slapping his hand over Arthur’s mouth and cutting him off mid-sentence.

“That’s the most I’ve heard you talk, I think and while normally I’d hate to stop you-I don’t much approve of how you’re speaking. So, shut up, Arthur.” Merlin demanded. “I waited for you. I missed you _so much_ , more than I ever thought possible. I missed everything about you-not just the braveness or your honor, but your laugh and your loyalty, I missed _everything_. I prayed every day to whatever religion I could find-begged whoever would listen to give you back to me. It was better after I began finding the others, but they never recognized me at first and every time-it hurt worse every time it wasn’t you. Then, there you were at my college, after all that time and you found me instead. I shouldn’t have let you go that day, but I was kind of in shock. I didn’t even go to class, I spent the next few days before the break looking for you on campus but no one knew you. And then you found me again in the store. My God, Arthur, whatever you’re thinking, you’re _wrong_. I see _you_ every time you move or smile. You’re the old Arthur and _more_ , that’s all. And frankly, I like the glasses on you. No matter what, you’re my Arthur, don’t forget that.” _Mine, sorry I let you die, I’ll never let it happen again. I’m going to protect you with everything I am_.

His hand felt damp and he realized he was still covering Arthur’s mouth. “Oops.” Merlin snatched his hand away flushing again. “Sorry.”

“You mean it?” Arthur whispered, ignoring the apology, voice full of wander and longing.

“Of course I do. So what if you’re different? I think it’ll be fun getting to know you-who you are now.”

Arthur’s eyes got a little misty, like he was about to cry. _Damn, did I say the wrong thing?_ He got his answer when suddenly he had his arms full, Arthur burying his face into his shoulder and he gave a short sound of surprise at the gesture. _He was hugging Arthur. Arthur was here with him now after all the years and hugging him. Arthur, Arthur, Arthur_. Without needing to think about it, Merlin wrapped his long arms around his friend, one hand gripping the back of his neck affectionately.

“Just so you know,” He said quietly, his words tickling the blonde hair on top of Arthur’s head. “I’m not letting you out of my sight for a very long time.”

“What about when I go to the bathroom?” Arthur teased lightly and Merlin grinned.

“Yeah, fine, I guess, but other than that-no way.”

“When I’m changing clothes?”

“ _Fine,_ but you’re pushing it.”

Arthur laughed and pulled back and Merlin reluctantly let him go though he kept a hand resting on his shoulder and got comfortable on the bed, kicking his feet back onto the chair as he got comfortable. There was no way he was going anywhere for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The next chapter will go back to being mainly Arthur's POV and I won't have another recapping one. I will alternate between Merlin and Arthur as seems fit.

**Author's Note:**

> ;) Comments and kudos are always appreciated.


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